When I was little, I was an idealist, and my dream was world peace. Then I entered adolescence and became convinced, to my great dismay, that things had already gone so wrong in the world that my dream could never by anything more than simply a dream, and that in fact, our world was destined for ruin. I see things differently now, and my idea of the world has been informed by my experience of it; Iām no longer much of an idealist, nor am I a pessimist. A large part of the difference has been a change in perspectiveāpeace is not longer something that happens exclusively in the world around me. Now I feel that peace is something that starts from the inside out.
A year ago, I found myself taking aikido classes at Ā鶹AV for the first time. Aikido was not my martial art of choice at that point, but now Iām hooked. Thereās not a lot thatās martial about aikido. The word aikido literally translates as āThe Way of harmony with kiā (ki may be loosely described as ālifeforceā), and the techniques are not designed to overpower or dominate the opponent by force, but to create harmony in action. What aikido has become for me is a search for peace.
I enter each class not knowing whether my movement will be smooth, precise and harmonious, or frustratingly clumsy. Sometimes I walk in feeling confident, sure of my ability and thinking that my mind is calm and receptive. Other days my ego is clearly dominating. On either kind of day I could be headed for embarrassment, but it is the latter days most of all, when I am sure to come away bruisedāin body, in ego, or both. My performance in class depends much less on how much I have practiced recently, and much more on my state of mind. If I am able to let go of my thoughts of grandeur and success, and instead lead with my centre and surrender to the movement of my body, then I can experience peace, even amidst the conflict. But aikido doesnāt stop when I leave the mat. This is the same peace I search for in each choice I make. IT is the peace I search for whether Iām chanting a mantra, interacting with friends or strangers, writing an M.P., cleaning the bathroom or recycling. I have a vision of a world that I want to live in, a world of choices made in support of peace and beauty. I try to make these choices myself, to contribute to creating this world. On my walk to school, Iāve made a practice of picking up at least one piece of garbage along the way. Because each piece of garbage I remove makes the walk that much more beautiful.
Originally published in the Nov. 2021 issue of Radix Magazine, "Searching for Peace"